How to Write a Gratitude Letter, With Examples

A gratitude letter is a letter you write to thank someone for something specific they did and to tell them how it changed things for you. To write a gratitude letter, pick one person, describe one concrete thing they did, say how it helped you and where you are now because of it. Half a page is enough, and you can mail it, read it to them or keep it.

What is a gratitude letter?

A gratitude letter is a personal thank-you to someone who helped you, ideally someone you never thanked properly. It’s different from a thank-you note for a gift. A gratitude letter talks about what the person did for you and what it meant, not about an object.

Psychologists use the gratitude letter as an exercise. In the version tested by Martin Seligman and colleagues in 2005, called the “gratitude visit”, people wrote to someone who had been especially kind to them and whom they had never properly thanked. Then they delivered the letter in person within one week.

How to write a gratitude letter in six steps

1. Choose one person. Think of a teacher, a friend, a neighbor, a coworker or a family member who helped you at some point. The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley suggests someone you haven’t thought about in a while and haven’t properly thanked.
2. Write to them directly. Start with “Dear Ms. Carter” or “Hi Jake”, the way you’d talk to the person. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling.
3. Describe one specific thing they did. “You stayed after class to help me with the essay” says more than “You were a great teacher.”
4. Say how it helped you. Write what changed: a decision you made, a hard week you got through, something you still do because of them.
5. Tell them where you are now. Mention what you’re doing today and when you still think of what they did.
6. End simply. “Thank you for that” or “I wanted you to know” is enough. You don’t need to ask for anything or promise to stay in touch.

If you don’t know who to write to, our gratitude journal prompts include questions about the people who helped you.

Gratitude letter examples

These three short examples follow the steps above. Change the names and details so the letter sounds like you.

To a former teacher

Dear Ms. Carter,

You probably don’t remember this, but in tenth grade you stayed after class three times to help me fix one essay. I was ready to drop the class. You told me my ideas were good and the writing just needed work.

I’m a nurse now, and I write reports every day. Every time I read one through before I send it, I think of you. Thank you for those afternoons.

Daniel

To a friend

Hi Jake,

I never really thanked you for the week Mom was in the hospital. You drove me there every evening and waited in the parking lot so I wouldn’t have to take the bus at night. You never made it feel like a favor.

She’s doing well now, and I still think about those drives. Thank you for showing up without being asked.

Sam

To a grandparent

Dear Grandma,

Every summer you let me help you in the kitchen, even when I spilled flour everywhere. You taught me to make your pancakes without a recipe.

I made them for my roommates last Sunday, and they asked for the recipe. I told them there isn’t one, there’s just you. Thank you for all those mornings.

Love, Emma

Should you send your gratitude letter?

Sending the letter is optional, but reading it to the person had the biggest effect in Seligman’s study. Of five exercises, the gratitude visit gave the largest increase in happiness. The boost lasted a week and a month after the exercise, and by three months people were back where they started.

If you’re nervous about sending it, the recipient will probably be happier than you expect. In three experiments by Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley, published in 2018, people wrote gratitude letters and guessed how the recipients would feel. They underestimated how surprised and how happy the recipients would be and overestimated how awkward the recipients would feel.

You have three ways to deliver it:

• Read it aloud in person. The Greater Good Science Center suggests asking the person not to interrupt until you finish, then leaving the letter with them.
• Read it on a phone or video call, if you live far apart.
• Mail it or send it as a message, if reading it aloud feels like too much.

What research says about gratitude letters

Writing gratitude letters improved how the writers felt in several studies, but the effect didn’t always last.

• Seligman, 2005: the gratitude visit gave the biggest short-term increase in happiness of five online exercises, and the effect was gone after three months.
• Toepfer, Cichy and Peters, 2012: in a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, 219 adults wrote three gratitude letters over three weeks. Their happiness and life satisfaction went up and their depressive symptoms went down compared with people who didn’t write letters.
• Wong and colleagues, 2018: in a trial with 293 adults in counseling, people who also wrote gratitude letters reported better mental health a few weeks later than people who only had counseling. The letters were added to counseling and weren’t tested as a replacement.

A gratitude letter isn’t a treatment for depression or anxiety. If you’re struggling, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. For more studies on gratitude, see our article on the benefits of gratitude journaling.

A gratitude letter next to a daily habit

A gratitude letter is something you do now and then. For a smaller daily habit, see our guide on how to start a gratitude journal and our list of ways to practice gratitude every day.

We built Graceup for the daily part. You write one good thing a day in about 30 seconds, and you can share a moment with a small private group of friends or family. When someone from the group appears in your entries again and again, they may be the person to write your next letter to.

Photo: Esther Ní Dhonnacha on Unsplash